Bring On The Broken
Growing up we had a tradition in our home on Christmas morning to all gather in my parents' room and pray before going into the living room to open our gifts! Dad would usually pray and might read some scripture as well. We did Santa gifts, but there was never any confusion on what Christmas was really about. My parents made Christmas so fun for me and my brother!
Justin and I have continued this tradition in our home as well. Yesterday morning all of our kids piled up in our bed as Justin prayed for us before we opened presents. His prayer really stood out to me. He said, "we're glad these gifts we receive will eventually break because it's a reminder that nothing we have here compares to the gift of your son." Wow! What an amazing perspective?! I'm always so overwhelmed with the gift giving part of Christmas. As fun as it is, I know it's a lot of money for things that won't last. But maybe that's a good thing! Maybe God can use the fallible and temporal nature of our Christmas traditions in order to showcase his everlasting gift of love. Jesus will never need new batteries, lose parts, wear out, run out, or become obsolete and as we enjoy and delight in our newest treasures we can lay down the fear and worry of the inevitable loss of them because we know we will always have something else that is way better. So, bring on the broken!
But it's still part of our nature to want what we want. Better yet to want it all to work the way we want! In our home, the frustrations of this reality begin to arise around Christmas night and on into the day after Christmas. The long anticipated prized possessions do not always work as well as their marketers claim or sometimes we wish to use them in a way they were not intended.
Sadie, our three year old, received a bath giftset that included an adhesive hook to attach to the shower wall on which to hang her new loofah. She, however, was determined to use this hook as a decoration by attaching it to my living room wall. I explained to her why she couldn't do that and it was not well received. Within seconds, dragon fire from her red hair folicles consumed the atmosphere of our home. With clinched fists, rolled up lips, and eyes furrowed right at me, it was war of the wills, friends!
This scenerio is all too common. My relationship with God is represented so well through my relationship with this spunky 3 year old daughter of mine. She wants her way so stinking bad she will cry, kick, scream, scrape, and door slam her anger, sadness, and frustration out ALL over the house!! And I can't help but try to hide my laughter because I know better. I know she's completely fine and that my way is better and makes more sense even if she doesn't understand it in the moment. And then I sense God raising his eye brows at ME!! Uh oh. All of a sudden I see myself as the three year old throwing the tantrum!....(sigh) .....Okay, okay I hear you, Lord! LOUD AND CLEAR!!!!
I was getting ready to cancel Christmas next year due to this heated exchange with Sadie, but then realized in that moment how God can use it. He uses not only the brokenness of "all the things" to reveal his wholeness, but he uses our own brokennes to show us our need for him. He doesn't have to break anything to make this known because we got here that way. We want we want and He will do whatever it takes to help us see it in ourselves and show us that it's always less than what he has for us.
Later today, I ran across this piece I had written last year before Christmas and it resonated with me again this year. I thought it related to what God is teaching me this year as well. The stories of old are so much more relevant in our modern world than I ever understood them to be until recent years. That fact alone offers so much hope because it proves God's consistency.
"I've been reflecting on the similarities between Hannah's prayer of praise after giving Samuel back to the Lord and Mary's song of praise after receiving news that she'd bear the son of God. These two women offer an ironic parallel considering Hannah was giving up a child she so desperately wanted, but young Mary was being tasked to carry and raise a child she had not requested. God had a different plan for both of these women and His plan was different from their own. They both had to set aside their own desires to accomplish God's will because they understood something about God. The revelation of His power and goodness in their circumstances overshadowed any pain or suffering they would endure as a result of His gifts. They understood that God being the giver of life and author of all creation was worthy to be worshipped and should be desired over any gift He could offer them. They understood that the gifts of God were not devoid of pain and feelings of uncertainty. For me, this has shed a new light on God's blessings in my own life. I see how different all five of my children are from the details of their conception and birth to the color of their hair and I'm in awe of their creation. It makes me step back and see them as God's kids and not my own, knitted together just as He intended for His glory. I do not deserve them and it's a privilege to be their mother. No matter what their future holds and all the pain I will endure raising them and one day letting them go, I hope to respond like Hannah and Mary. I hope to trust God with them and praise Him for whatever he chooses to do in their lives and mine. If He's the only one able to give us our very breath, it only makes sense to fully trust Him with our lives." -December 11, 2017
It's not that we don't want God, we just want God to work the way we want him to work. But giving our lives to him actually requires the opposite. It's telling God that we'll work however he wants us to work. We'll do whatever he wants us to do. We'll take whatever treasures he allows us to have, to use how he allows us to use them, for as long as he chooses. Knowing this, we can lay the fear and worry of their impending loss at His feet. Why? Because in the end we know we'll still have Him. The greatest EVERLASTING gift ever known.
Justin and I have continued this tradition in our home as well. Yesterday morning all of our kids piled up in our bed as Justin prayed for us before we opened presents. His prayer really stood out to me. He said, "we're glad these gifts we receive will eventually break because it's a reminder that nothing we have here compares to the gift of your son." Wow! What an amazing perspective?! I'm always so overwhelmed with the gift giving part of Christmas. As fun as it is, I know it's a lot of money for things that won't last. But maybe that's a good thing! Maybe God can use the fallible and temporal nature of our Christmas traditions in order to showcase his everlasting gift of love. Jesus will never need new batteries, lose parts, wear out, run out, or become obsolete and as we enjoy and delight in our newest treasures we can lay down the fear and worry of the inevitable loss of them because we know we will always have something else that is way better. So, bring on the broken!
But it's still part of our nature to want what we want. Better yet to want it all to work the way we want! In our home, the frustrations of this reality begin to arise around Christmas night and on into the day after Christmas. The long anticipated prized possessions do not always work as well as their marketers claim or sometimes we wish to use them in a way they were not intended.
Sadie, our three year old, received a bath giftset that included an adhesive hook to attach to the shower wall on which to hang her new loofah. She, however, was determined to use this hook as a decoration by attaching it to my living room wall. I explained to her why she couldn't do that and it was not well received. Within seconds, dragon fire from her red hair folicles consumed the atmosphere of our home. With clinched fists, rolled up lips, and eyes furrowed right at me, it was war of the wills, friends!
This scenerio is all too common. My relationship with God is represented so well through my relationship with this spunky 3 year old daughter of mine. She wants her way so stinking bad she will cry, kick, scream, scrape, and door slam her anger, sadness, and frustration out ALL over the house!! And I can't help but try to hide my laughter because I know better. I know she's completely fine and that my way is better and makes more sense even if she doesn't understand it in the moment. And then I sense God raising his eye brows at ME!! Uh oh. All of a sudden I see myself as the three year old throwing the tantrum!....(sigh) .....Okay, okay I hear you, Lord! LOUD AND CLEAR!!!!
I was getting ready to cancel Christmas next year due to this heated exchange with Sadie, but then realized in that moment how God can use it. He uses not only the brokenness of "all the things" to reveal his wholeness, but he uses our own brokennes to show us our need for him. He doesn't have to break anything to make this known because we got here that way. We want we want and He will do whatever it takes to help us see it in ourselves and show us that it's always less than what he has for us.
Later today, I ran across this piece I had written last year before Christmas and it resonated with me again this year. I thought it related to what God is teaching me this year as well. The stories of old are so much more relevant in our modern world than I ever understood them to be until recent years. That fact alone offers so much hope because it proves God's consistency.
"I've been reflecting on the similarities between Hannah's prayer of praise after giving Samuel back to the Lord and Mary's song of praise after receiving news that she'd bear the son of God. These two women offer an ironic parallel considering Hannah was giving up a child she so desperately wanted, but young Mary was being tasked to carry and raise a child she had not requested. God had a different plan for both of these women and His plan was different from their own. They both had to set aside their own desires to accomplish God's will because they understood something about God. The revelation of His power and goodness in their circumstances overshadowed any pain or suffering they would endure as a result of His gifts. They understood that God being the giver of life and author of all creation was worthy to be worshipped and should be desired over any gift He could offer them. They understood that the gifts of God were not devoid of pain and feelings of uncertainty. For me, this has shed a new light on God's blessings in my own life. I see how different all five of my children are from the details of their conception and birth to the color of their hair and I'm in awe of their creation. It makes me step back and see them as God's kids and not my own, knitted together just as He intended for His glory. I do not deserve them and it's a privilege to be their mother. No matter what their future holds and all the pain I will endure raising them and one day letting them go, I hope to respond like Hannah and Mary. I hope to trust God with them and praise Him for whatever he chooses to do in their lives and mine. If He's the only one able to give us our very breath, it only makes sense to fully trust Him with our lives." -December 11, 2017
It's not that we don't want God, we just want God to work the way we want him to work. But giving our lives to him actually requires the opposite. It's telling God that we'll work however he wants us to work. We'll do whatever he wants us to do. We'll take whatever treasures he allows us to have, to use how he allows us to use them, for as long as he chooses. Knowing this, we can lay the fear and worry of their impending loss at His feet. Why? Because in the end we know we'll still have Him. The greatest EVERLASTING gift ever known.
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