The World Through My Eyes

Math and I have a strained relationship. We never got along all that well in high school, but he’s proved to be helpful from time to time through adulthood so I have not written him off completely. As a visual learner, I gravitate toward picture problems like bar or line graphs and pie charts. This I understood better because I could see it broken down in single dimensions. I realized recently that I tend to view my spiritual status on a bar graph too. When my prayer life seems good, my household is thriving and temptation to sin seems fairly low, I feel best positioned for ministry and service. Unfortunately, this type of “if…then…” approach to ministry doesn’t always work and certainly does not last. I can recall a time in my life when all my bar graphs were looking pretty good and I decided to graciously sacrifice my “holy self” by spending an entire day in prayer for others around me in need. Although my motives were pure, the hidden pride that prompted this endeavor could not

I’ve never been able to find certain places on the map. You know, those far away exotic countries like Courage, Bravery, Confidence, or Adventure. It’s all fine and good for the superstars on TV or the great Bible heroes, but I see them and think, “yeah, that will never be me.” Most likely you will find me in a little hidden town called Fearville at 1505 Worry Ln. enjoying a nice big bowl of anxiety for breakfast. This is where I reside. This is where life makes sense. A friend recently said that bravery isn’t the opposite of fear; rather, it is overcoming something you are afraid of despite the fear. Her statement stuck with me. I’ve never considered myself to be brave at all, but I have definitely pushed my way through some moments of uncertainty, so maybe it isn’t so far from home. Throughout my teen years and on into adulthood, I’ve walked through many seasons of extreme anxiety. As a teen, my fears were a bit more irrational than they are now. I conjured up all sorts of scenari