The World Through My Eyes

I’m not a fan of new year’s resolutions. My life offers endless opportunities for failure without setting myself up and I’m proud to say I’ve been quite successful in taking advantage of them. I jest, but truthfully I see more value in reflecting on the past rather than attempting to resolve the great unknown.  We can’t exactly know where we are going until we fully grasp where we’ve been so reflecting back just makes more sense to me. So far, 2017 has been the most soul searching, faith stretching, heart piercing, and flesh breaking year for me to date. I do not look forward to 2018 being “better” because I’m not convinced that this year was really that bad. I'm positive that both better and worse years lie ahead, but this has been what I believe to be the beginning of a tough spiritual journey. We often hear that trials are blessings in disguise, but I’m starting to think that blessings can be trials in disguise, as well. God works in mysterious ways, right? Regardless of the di

As many of you already know, Justin and I spent an evening away last weekend celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary early on his weekend off. All of our grandparents were out of pocket, but thanks to 4 very kind friend familes, we split our five children among them so we could get away for the night.  We couldn't justify the extra expense of hiring an overnight sitter so this was our best option. Getting away is already a stretch financially for our large one income family. Don't feel sorry for us though. We make poor money decisions often out of convenience and/or exhaustion.  As a family of 7 most of the time we're just in survival mode which tends to combat financial wisdom more often than not and we suffer the consequences as a result. But God never ceases to amaze me. Despite my poor choices he is still faithful and gracious. I'm consistently made aware of his undeserved kindness in my life and it's quite humbling. As if having our friends take on our child

We often discuss the irony of Paul's call to bring the gospel to the Gentiles in spite of his former position as a Jewish zealot who killed Christ followers. We are in awe of how God used Paul after all he had done prior to believing in Christ.  However, what we do not discuss as much is that Peter, a disciple of Christ chosen to spread the gospel to his own people, also had a significant rap sheet even as a believer. Not only was his faith a bit shaky, he also denied Christ three times even after the time he'd spent ministering with Him. Reflecting on when Jesus told Peter he would deny him, it's important to note that He didn't tell Peter  to  deny Him he just said that he would. God's foreknowledge of our sinful actions does not exempt us from the consequences or our responsibility of those actions, but our love for God and desire to live for Him does not eliminate our sinful nature either.  Peter loved Jesus and didn't want to deny Christ, but he did so an

My kids are always asking me why we talk about history so much. They say, "This already happened! Why do we need to talk about things that happened a long time ago?!" I tell them that everything we have and do today is affected by what has already taken place.  We can't have clear direction for our lives until we understand and process where we've been. We say we shouldn't live in the past meaning we shouldn't dwell on sorrow, pain, or our mistakes. I agree, but with each passing moment history is in the making. The choices we make each day will affect tomorrow so we should live intentionally with this in mind.  The future has never affected the past, but the past will always affect our future. It is because of history that we celebrate anything. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations are all a remembrance of the past that affects the present. Even the sad anniversaries or memorials are cause for celebration as we relish the wonderful moments an

As believers, we can get overwhelmed juggling daily tasks and responsibilities while burdened with what we see God doing in our lives spiritually.  As we walk through our lives we carry what is happening inside with us everywhere we go. The internal journey evolves slowly, but for the most part it’s consistent and constant. We wake up every morning with it staring us in the face. God teaches us more and more as we grow and walk with Him.  On the other hand, the external is ever-changing. Our daily tasks may be a mundane routine, but no two days are the same. As time passes, our roads take many twists and turns along the way.  It can be very overwhelming to walk and stay focused on the external when the unfolding of what is happening internally gets to be more than we can bear. This happens because so much of what takes place day to day reminds us of the inner passage.   We see all of this before us and challenge the old idea that “God does not give us more than we can handle” and

Confession #1:  I'm a "scripture scroller." It sounds very high and spiritually mighty, but I assure you it is not. It's quite the opposite, in fact. By "scripture scroller" I mean when I see a single Bible verse posted on Facebook, I tend to scroll past it and not read it. Probably because I'd rather feed my flesh on social media than my Spirit. Because of the latter, I immediately feel shame for bypassing words that come from that which gives all meaning to my life. I have two reasons for doing this. One I like to think is spiritually noble and the other is flat out sinful. We'll start with the noble one. While many single Bible verses are great and can stand alone, some cannot. In many cases context matters so when I see one I cringe a little that it will be applied out of context therefore clouding the glass of my Spirit's beloved living water. Now as for my sinful reason, I just don't like reading Bible verses. Yeah, you read that r

I write often, but I do not share everything I write. I hesitate to share when God teaches me something in a powerful way because I wrestle with the voice of pride that says “you just want to share this so people will think you’re super spiritual” or “you just want people to look at YOU and think you’re so good.” I mean let’s face it I AM awesome ;), but I’m also a walking disaster and those who know me well are aware of both things. ;) (wink again) But I loathe the voice. It debilitates me from sharing what God has taught me. God recently helped me determine whether my motives are pure in a different situation and it has given much peace. And guess what?! He used his Word to show me. You know, that good book that’s been collecting dust on the nightstand for a few days.   In that book, Paul writes to the church of Corinth in 2 Corinthians to encourage them after having had to rebuke them over sin they had allowed to take root in the church. Paul wrestled with having to rebuke them and