The World Through My Eyes

thirty

2011-01-31T10:49:00.002-06:00

I'm thirty today! First I was going to make a list of 30 things I wanted to do in my thirties that I didn't do in my twenties like write a book, get out of debt, visit New York City, etc...., but then all of it seemed a little shallow and empty. Then I was going to write about my fears of being 30 and the higher level of expecations of others now that I'm no longer a baby in my twenties. But that just turned out really depressing. So, I started again. Not sure what really to write about, but I thought being that it is my thirtieth birthday I should blog something. I guess I felt like I needed to blog on this day because it seems like new chapter of my life. My twenties were great! I got married, got a degree, had three amazing children, and we bought our first house. I had lots of life altering events in one decade. I doubt the thirties can top it. But I don't think that's what getting older is about. God doesn't necessarily intend for us all to do bigger and better things as we get older. We just need to accept the life we have been given and live it according to His word and will. I'm content being mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, sister-n-law, etc..... This is where God has me now and until He shows me something else, I'm going to focus on doing this well. I think mom is going to be the most important role I will play this decade. For the next 10 years, I will raise 3 children to be (Lord willing) Godly teenagers who love the Lord and want to serve Him. When I turn 40 I will have a 13, 14, and 16 year old. Whew...I can't think of a more rewarding and harder job anyone could have. With all of that said, I don't want to discount my other roles as a wife, friend, daughter, etc..... To me it's just all part of being a good mom. I can't really call myself a good mother if I'm not being a good wife, friend, or daughter can I? So much of teaching our children is by example. They are watching me and I want to show my children what a solid Godly marriage looks like, how to be a selfless friend, and how to honor their father and mother; all roles in which I need to work on :). If God gives me other opportunities along the way, I plan to dive in with my children right along side me. They are my blessing and my most cherished treasures. God entrusted them to me and if I do nothing else in the next 10 years but be a good mother, I will have done something great!!

From Surviving on Autopilot to Living with Purpose

2010-07-07T09:24:00.010-05:00

I just got back from a much needed getaway to Houston and Galveston with my sweet husband. We were celebrating our 9Th anniversary. It was a very relaxing and fun trip. Not only did Justin and I enjoy our time together, I really did some soul searching and realized some things about myself and my life. It's so easy to go through life as a busy mom and wife and put your spiritual walk on "autopilot." I know I've been coasting for quite some time now and I see how it has negatively impacted my life and those whom I love dearly. I've realized that I've been living my life in survival mode, looking forward to the end of the day when all the arguing, cleaning, cooking, explaining, working, fixing, and breaking comes to an end and the kids are in bed. I look at the day as something to get through instead of something to enjoy and look forward to. I've been living as a grouchy babysitter/maid which in turn produces grouchy non-compliant children. The vicious cycle continues. I can change it by becoming the loving, nurturing mother and wife who works daily to create a warm, fun, relaxing home for her family. My frustration and anger over my job as a homemaker just makes me resent those I love and puts me on the defense every time. Simply changing my attitude makes all the difference. When I do, I'm suddenly on the sidelines cheering my family on instead of suited up on the opposing team with a snarl on my face, digging my heals in the ground. My attitude is crucial to the tone of my home. If I'm cheerfully giving and serving, they are happily receiving and then I can maintain peace and avoid war. Now, for how I got there, it wasn't easy or fun, but completely worth it. I had to admit that my attitude is what needed to change and then had to change my goal. Instead of only looking forward to the end of the day, I now look forward to the beginning, too. I had to confess to the Lord that I was not living for Him, I was living for myself and ask him to change that in me. I now desire to live in Him and serve my family as He would want me to. I'm retraining myself on my parenting skills and having to retrain my kids, as well. The process is just beginning and has been challenging, but I know the harmony of my family will be better for it.

This also really applies to so many other aspects of my life. I have always longed to lose a lot of weight and be more attractive to my husband. I go through seasons of working very hard to get my weight off by dieting and exercising, envying all the pretty skinny women I know personally or see on TV. I get frustrated, I get stressed and I eat to "feel better". A similar cycle begins. Here, again, I simply need to change my attitude and my goal towards my weight and my body. Instead of my goal being to look good for my husband, my goal should be to keep God's temple holy and healthy and in optimum shape to serve others. As long as I'm exercising consistently and being good to my body when it comes to food, I will automatically be attractive to my husband and I will feel good about myself knowing that I'm actively working to improve myself and my health. Losing weight and looking better are no longer the goal or the focus. As many diets as I've tried, I could write my own diet book, but it all boils down to one thing-eating balanced small meals throughout the day. I can make those good choices easier when food is merely fuel not therapy.

There are many other ways this may apply to our lives...finances, marriage, relationships, jobs etc.......Regardless, I know that it all starts with admitting that your attitude needs to change and asking God to give you the desire to live for Him and not for yourself. After all, that's what we did when we gave our lives to Christ anyway. We made the decision to live for Him and not for ourselves from that point on. It's easy to fall into the trap of worldly treasures and luxury and it may take years to recognize that we are stuck. Once we do, we can celebrate our lives of purpose, fulfillment, and blessings and live the life we were born to live as disciples of Jesus Christ.

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and dust doth corrupt, and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys or thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:19-21

"Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her....Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:25-30

Kacie's 5 Marriage Rules (for nearly married or married couples)

2009-07-08T08:24:00.020-05:00

Well, everybody, my husband and I celebrated 8 years of marriage yesterday. We had a great date night while my awesome mom kept our little ones for us. I thought I would share a little 8 year wisdom (yeah right) on my view of marriage. I'm no expert, obviously, but from my own personal experience I beleive there are a few, dare I say, "rules" to follow that will encourage a successful lasting relationship that Justin and I have done pretty well at following.

Rule #1: Anything you don't like about the person you are considering marrying is more than likely not going to change after you say your wedding vows. You will not change the person you marry and you will have to learn to live with your differences. In fact, some of the things you do like about your relationship may even stop or become less frequent. It's important that you aren't merely in love with the "idea" of marriage, but that you actually love the person - bad breath, messy hair, no make-up, and maybe even a few extra pounds and all. Love is a decision, it's rarely a feeling. The main question to ask yourself is this. If you take away the dining out, gifts, movies, going out with friends, picnics at the park, and fun surprises, are you content with what is left over? If not, you may need to take that into consideration before putting on the dress and/or tux. I'm not saying that you won't have any of those things after you get married, but it's just not the same as when you are dating, especially once children are in the picture.

Rule#2: Assuming you are OK with rule #1--Once you are married, never use the word divorce during an argument (or "uncomfortable conversation," if you prefer). Sometimes it's tempting because you are just so mad in the heat of the moment. The only time you should ever say it is if you are absolutely serious about doing it which means there should be some sort of infidelity or abuse of some kind taking place. Those are pretty much the only reasons to end a relationship, in my opinion. Arguing is definitely part of marriage. I think there is more to worry about when you don't argue. It's important to express your feelings and views. You need to be willing to agree to disagree sometimes, but don't stay mad for too long. If you do, you are more likely to hold that grudge for longer because of rehearsing your side of the argument over and over in your mind. It's best to let it out early on and deal with the issue then, as painful as it may be. Uncomfortable conversations aren't supposed to be fun, it's just necessary sometimes.

Rule #3: When kids come in the picture, be sure to make time for yourselves. I think some moms tend to focus all their attention to their children and dads may even become more involved at work or activities outside the home to escape the chaos at home. Both of which create distance between you and can be harmful. Having children should not make your relationship suffer. In fact, it should change you for the better. Instead of doing everything for yourselves and each other, you are now pouring your lives into someone else together. You should begin to love and appreciate each other in a new way and draw closer as you bond with your children as loving parent partners. This is not only good for the two of you, but great for your children, as well.

Rule#4: Communication!!!!! Justin and I have had our share of "miscommunications" and knowing how frustrating that is, we work really hard to discuss everything (well, almost everything). I hate that Justin can't read my mind, but it's just a fact that he cannot and will never be able to know what I want or need. I have learned that I must tell him exactly what I want or need regardless of how embarrassing, uncomfortable, or needy it may sound. He doesn't know, he won't figure it out, so you MUST tell him. And for you husbands, in a nutshell, your wife just wants to feel loved and appreciated. Even though sex may seem like a good way to show that to her, it rarely is. Think of something else, but show her in some way that will be meaningful to her. I've learned through the last 8 years that Justin wants respect more than anything else. I think the best way to show this is by making sure I include him in family and money decisions. I try to ask Justin if he minds if Sidney spends the night with her Grams before just telling her it's OK. I ask him before making larger purchases for the home or for myself. This lets him know that I respect him enough to let him in on the decision making, big or small, instead of just making the decision by myself and telling him after it's done.

Rule #5: Now for the, oh so important, subject of sex!!! I may get some flack from this, but here it goes. Just remember this is my personal opinion. Men want it, need it, and should not be deprived of it. Women may or may not want it, and husbands should be sensative to this at times; however, if you never want it, then I would advise you figure out why and explore some ways to change that. It should be an important part of your relationship regardless of how many kids you have and how crazy life can be. It does change over time (and I'm sure I have lots more to learn about this changing over time), but I don't think it should ever stop. Communication is key here, too. I have found this christian website useful on this subject http://www.themarriagebed.com/. Bottom line-- be mindful of each other's needs and find a plan that works for you both.

Marriage can be a beautiful, amazing, and rewarding part of life, but it's also one of the most difficult things you can do. It is possible if you both commit to stay faithful to each other, think of each other more than you think of yourself, and consistently pray that God will give both of you wisdom, guidance, and protection.

Happy Father's Day!!

2009-06-06T00:05:00.008-05:00

This post is the full version of the "Hall of Fame Hubby" entry that is in the June edition of The Journey magazine. I was going to wait until Father's Day to post it, but I changed my mind. Happy Father's Day, Babe!!

I’ve been married to my husband Justin for nearly eight years now, and it’s hard to believe we’ve been together that long. We married pretty young (20 and 22), finished college two years later and quickly entered the world of parenthood. It has been nothing short of a privilege sharing the joys, as well as frustrations, of raising three children with him. I truly would not want to do this with anyone else. I don’t think marriage gets the credit it deserves sometimes. It has been an honor to be Justin’s wife and watch him grow into a respected Christian man and father over the past eight years. Although Justin has many great qualities and characteristics as a husband and father, his simple kindness and gentleness is what makes him so great!

Justin has always been a great help to me around the house. He loves cooking which is a HUGE help. He’s always willing to cook supper and take care of the kids when I need him to. There have even been times that I’ve come home from a meeting and he’s cleaned the entire house, not to mention bathed the kids and put them all to bed. Now all of these things are wonderful and I feel so blessed to have a husband that does those things for me, but that is not what makes my husband is a hall of fame hubby.

Justin’s a great dad! He loves taking Sidney, our 5 year old daughter fishing and playing with her and our 2 year old son in the back yard. He takes advantage of EVERY teachable opportunity when it comes to them and I love that. He loves being silly with them, laughing and playing, but he’s also firm and knows exactly when to “dad.” All of these things make him an awesome father, but it’s still not what makes him so great.

Justin’s loyalty as the primary breadwinner of our family cannot go unmentioned. After receiving our degrees at the University of North Texas, we relocated back to Lufkin where we both grew up. The week Sidney was born he began working as a city letter carrier at the Lufkin post office. The first few months were very hard for him physically, but he worked past the pain and didn’t quite. He has endured a lot of pain during the 5 years he’s worked there, but he’s willing to do it to provide for his family. This characteristic stands far above many of his other great qualities, but it still doesn’t make him the best husband for me.

What makes Justin worthy of me writing this is not primarily his willingness to be a good mate and father to my children; rather, his kind and gentle spirit that naturally shines through him everyday. Justin has never used harsh words against me, even when I feel my mistakes probably deserved it. He forgives my every fault and never brings up past wrongs. Justin still thinks I’m beautiful after eight years of marriage and carrying three children. He calls me just to say, “I love you!” or “I miss you.” He still reaches to hold my hand in the car or when we go out together, as if we were still just dating. He sings and prays with the children at night. He’s got a great heart and kind, gentle spirit that out ways all the other qualities I mentioned before. These are the reasons why my husband is a hall of fame hubby, this is why I think he’s so great. It’s the gentle, caring, and loving spirit he possesses that make him the best husband for me and father for my children.

We love you, Happy Father’s Day!!
Kacie, Sidney, Lachlan, and Paisley

Moments like this make it all worthwhile

2009-03-28T12:59:00.011-05:00

I think Justin and I have had to clean up a mess of poop in Paisley's bed about 20 times now. It happened again today. I am determined to find her some one piece suits for her to wear to bed so she can't take her pants off anymore, but I haven't been able to locate them yet. Anyway, after I got her all bathed cleaned up and changed her bed sheet, I layed her back in her crib and decided to give her Sidney's Dora doll to snuggle up to. She stopped crying right away and later I went to peek in on her and found her like this. I had to take a picture it was too cute. I never really thought about giving her a stuffed toy to sleep with; maybe that's all I needed to to do to stop her from playing with her diaper contents. This is what I like to see in my sweet little girl's crib. So sweet!!

Lachlan loves to make messes whether it's dumping an entire toy box full of toys out on the floor or entire can of formula, he's the best boy for the job. The most recent mess of his was nestle quick powder as shown in the picture. I have NO idea how he got it cause I do not keep it in his reach so it must have gotten put back in the wrong place in the pantry. Anyway, even though he loves make messes, eating crayons, and throwing screaming tantrums, he's still the sweetest little boy to me. He crawled up in my lap today with his blanket to watch a movie and I just loved snuggling up beside him. Two year olds have their moments, but they are still so little and baby like sometimes.

And Sidney....what to say about Sidney. She cracks me up and she's too smart for her own pants. She recently wacked her hair off right before her birthday party. I took her to the beauty shop to get an up-do for her Fancy Nancy party to try and hide all the bad hair parts. It turned out really cute. I decided to try cutting it myself when the party was over since it cost $20.00 just to get it fixed. I thought it turned out cute. I think this hairstyle matches her personality much better. I'm just afraid she might look a little too old, though. Anyway, even though I cried and cried over her cutting her own hair, it all worked out. I learned how to cut layers and might not have done that otherwise.

Moral of this post: I'm learning how to cherish the moments I have with my children while they are young, whether they are good moments or bad moments. If I'm in the middle of a bad moment, that just means there's a good one right around the corner. You just have to wait for it and pay attention to it when it happens.

Why I think I'm ADD and shouldn't have to take a test to find out

2009-02-11T16:27:00.002-06:00

I went to a psychologist, Dr. Sid Epperson, today to see about getting tested for ADD. My family Doctor referred me to him. The following happenings and situations should prove that I have ADD and do not need a test to tell me this.......

-My appt. was at 1:00 and they told me to get there early. I planned to leave my house at 12:40 and didn't walk out the door until 12:50 and then still had to go back inside to get my phone which I could not find and ended up being under the sheets on my bed... yes, I made the bed with my phone in it. So, I didn't actually leave until 12:56.

-I had to call on the way to find out where they were located b/c, no, I hadn't even done THAT yet.......ugh!!!!! Luckily I knew right where it was and it wasn't too far away.

-I have no clue what time it was when i walked in the door and they just put me straight back and let me fill out my paper work afterwards (since I was late, obviously). It didn't even cross my mind to tell them on the phone that I was running late OR appologize for being late when I did get there.

-I thought the questions he was asking me WAS the Tova test (ADD test) until he said at the end of our conversation, "We will schedule you to take the Tova test in a couple of weeks......"

-I couldn't answer all of his questions mainly because I wasn't paying attention......... ha, gotcha! (not really) it was because I can't remember anything!

-When I went back to the front when we were finished, they gave me 2 different packets of papers, one was to take home and fill out and the other was my medical history and release forms for my file. It was about 15 minutes into filling out the paper work that I realized I was filling out the take home packet instead of the office papers. VERY frustrating!!!!

-When I went to turn in my paper work, I found my keys sitting at the front window and have no memory of me getting them out of my purse or laying them there.

So, there you have it. If I do in fact turn out to have ADD, I may create a new blog recording my daily ADD mishaps and uhhhh, what were we talking about again?.....oh yeah, my mishaps and humorous shortfalls. Nothing like some good Kacie humor, right?

Running Real Life Rules for First Time Parents

2009-02-04T12:51:00.010-06:00

Ok, I'm dedicating this post to my brother and sister-n-law who will soon be parents for the first time. This is the beginning of what I'm afraid will be a long running list of rules that you only learn from not-so-pleasant real life experiences. Even after three kids I'm still learning lots of things about raising kids. Some of these I already learned in the past, but I've saved the most recently learned rule for the end, which is really not the end, but the end of this list today. So here it goes. Hope it helps, Jase and Rach, and remember, this list is not to scare you or overwhelm you, but to make your life WAY easier than mine. Consider it the best baby gift you could ever receive, minimizing stress, disasters, and unnecessary spending.

Rule #1: Do not under any circumstance leave the following products within a 3 ft. reach of your under 3 years old child.... Vaseline, lotion, soap, detergant, matches, pills, batteries, cereal, oatmeal, sugar, flour, formula, drinks, scissors, stapler, reading glasses, sun glasses, coins, plastic, balloons, knives, toilet paper, paper towels, cords, needles, markers, crayons, and basically anything that's smaller than a golf ball. (I'm sure there's more, but that's enough to chew on for now; Ha! chew was an accidental pun)

Rule #2: Before leaving the house with your child be sure to have the following: plenty of diapers and wipes, bottles and formula (unless nursing), change of clothes (if nursing an extra shirt for yourself, (not you Jason)), tissues, snacks, and a bonus points if you take a first aid kit, mylanta, thermometer, children's tylenol, and an aspirator (I wasn't quite that good)

Rule #3: Baby Einstein is a MUST HAVE, that is if you plan to take a shower, get dressed, cook a meal, or have a phone conversation in peace.

Rule #4: You must follow this formula if you plan to make your appointments on time. X=how long it takes you to get dressed in the mornings NOW, Y=how long it will take you to get yourself dressed, one child dressed, and get out the door. Here's the formula: X * 3=Y (I used to get dressed and out the door in 20-30 minutes, now with three kids it's more like 2 hours and I'm almost ALWAYS 10-20 minutes late, just ask Sugar.)

Rule#5: If you find yourself wanting to purchase a cute little snuggly stuffed animal, slap yourself and put it back as quickly as possible. I can count on one hand how many of them I purchased myself. The rest were gifts and if all the stuffed animals in my house magically became a human army ready to attack, everyone on my street would be dead in less than 60 seconds. But don't worry, this has never happened, obviously. I think they only come alive when we aren't home :).

Rule #6: And for the most recently learned rule which inspired this list in the first place, be sure your child (particularly around the age of 1) has had PLENTY to eat before naptime AND has pants on at all times during his or her nap. I found Paisley today in her crib, diaper off, eating her own poop; there I said it. UGHUGHUGH!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOO GROSS!!!!!! I think some sort of baby suspenders should be designed to prevent this.

Stay tuned for more Running Real Life Rules for First Time Parents..........

Sidney's Hilarious 4 Year Old Mind

2008-11-25T21:38:00.005-06:00

I asked Sidney what she wanted for Christmas tonight and this is the list. It's very specific and I'm not sure where she's even seen some of this stuff.

1)2 Baby Ponies exactly like the ones she has with a stroller just like the one she has. I asked her why she wants the same thing she has and she said, "Because it doesn't make the sounds anymore." I guess I could go the easy route and just replace the batteries and wrap it up. Merry Christmas!!

2)Toy Jewelry box with a sparkly ring that says, "I love Mommy and Daddy."

3)Hannah Montana Lamp and if it breaks she wants the High School Musical one.

4)A skateboard with white and purple flowers on it that says, "Go Slide." We questioned this one too and she said, "....cause it's like sliding on the street."

5)Hot Pink Scooter with purple and white streamers on the handles.

"And that's ALL," Sidney says.

Sidney's Dictionary:

"drug" -- to think
"bluck"--lathery soap
"propertunity"--as the super girl when she fires all the bad guys and witches
"bunkin"--someone who is not doing what she wants her to do

Random Thoughts, Funnies, and Ironies

2008-11-19T23:44:00.003-06:00

1) Jennifer was a very popular name in the late 70s and early 80s; however its only ranked #6 of the most popular first female names, but i know more Jennifers than any of the top five names. I can name about 8 or 9 right off the top of my head, but that number even seems a little low to me. I was thinking I knew more Jennifers than that. So, just for the heck of it, count all the Jennifers you remember from kindergarten til present and comment back with your number. If you are really ambitious, you can try and guess the top 5 I didn't mention without looking it up. There's no prize, just wasting time mainly.

2)I've caught myself doing really stupid things as a parent. I've actually said, "Now, you can't have any fruit snacks or candy until you finish your food, which sometimes happens to be "Deep friend chicken nuggets and French Fries." I mean really, fruit snacks have to be healthier than that stuff, right? There's this mentality that just cause it's sweetend it worse for you than regular food. I myself even feel like I have to eat "real" food before eating something sweet like a chocolate chip granola bar. The only problem is the "real" food may be a chili dog with cheese......"real" healthy, right? I wonder if I wouldn't be better off going straight for the granola bar. I don't understand my logic sometimes...........maybe I'm logically challenged :)

3) My son made a mess in the bathroom today. The only problem was how confused I was about it since the mess consisted of spilled.......liquid SOAP.......oooooo. I mean, how can you get mad at your kid for CLEANING everything! It was all slippery afterwards, but all I needed was water and hey, my bathroom and my son are clean. The funniest part was putting the rug in the dirty clothes pile. I had a confusing moment trying to figure out if I was doing the right thing. I mean TECHNICALLY it wasn't DIRTY...........it had soap on it.

4) Sidney asked Justin on the way home from church if when she gets big she can go somewhere by herself. Justin said yes, that when she turns 16 she'll be able to drive anywhere she wants (well not literally, but you know what he means). She thought a minute and said, " But, I'll have a wreck." Like she knew she didn't know how to drive. He kind of skipped the drivers ED. part.

5)I muted the the tv for a minute during commercial and Sidney said, "Why did you turn it down, do you need some peace or something?"

6)We were in the drive through at Sonic the other day and I asked Lachlan(2) if he wanted tator tots he said, "no." Then I asked him if he wanted chicken or french fries (normally I get him both but it was late and I didn't think he'd eat that much). Anyway, after I asked him twice if he wanted chicken OR fries, he put his index finger over his mouth and said, "Hmmmmmmm." I laughed so hard cause I know he got that from me. Then he hollered out, "I want both," which made me laugh again that he knew he was making a decision. I'm so surprised at how much he will say when given the opportunity. I just forget that he learns new words and how to converse everday and just needs the opportunity to use it. Normally I don't, ask I just order. I'm glad I did this time or I wouldn't have this funny story to tell.

My Mystery Cleaning Fairy

2008-10-26T21:36:00.005-05:00

I came home after church today my house was totally clean my HUGE mound of laundry was gone. I knew right off it had to be my mother-in-law cause, as Justin said, "She's the only would who could have humanly possibly done it," (speaking from his experience living at home). So, I called her and sure enough I was right. She cleaned my entire house and took my laundry to her house to wash, dry and fold. I was in complete shock at this wonderful surprise. Now, I have to say, a couple of years ago that might have made me mad or frustrated. I have sort of a complex when it comes to people helping me. Especially when it's the one person I feel like I'm being compared to daily by my husband. (He says he doesn't do that, but I'm not convinced). Anyway, I tend to take other people's help as an insult as if they think I'm not doing a good job or just don't know how to do it effectively. Surprisingly, I did not feel that way today at all. I felt blessed, humbled, and grateful that someone cared enough to lend a hand. She knew I had a bad day yesterday and wanted to do something for me and I am thankful.

I've been trying really hard to accept and ask people (other than my parents or my aunt) for help more and this was a true test that I've matured (even if just a little) in marriage and motherhood. I think having 3 children have something to do with it. I've decided that once you have more than 2 kids that are pre-schoolers, the game plan changes. It's not so much getting everything done, it's just making sure you have something clean to wear the next day and no major accidents occur. I may not be super mom, super nanny, or super clean, but I'm me and I'm learning to be ok with that. I'll take all the help I can get and I'm ok with the fact that I'm not always able to do everything perfectly. So, thank you Sugar (what my kids call my mother-in-law), that was a great gift!! I knew that key I gave you would come in handy one day and it did.

2008-10-19T23:42:00.002-05:00

Are You Oppressed or Depressed?

If you're like me, you either have way to much to do and stressing out or you are depressed and looking for something to satisfy you. I rarely find myself in a state of complete contentment. It's kind of like when taking a picture. You zoom in and out trying to find the perfect angle and distance and it keeps going too far one way or the other. Do you ever feel like that in life?

What is your picture of complete contentment? Mine is sitting quietly alone by my fireplace (an imaginary one since we don't have one) in December sipping on a cup of hot chocolate while enjoying a good book. This scene also includes my house being perfectly clean with no laundry or dishes to do and, of course, all of my scrapbook albums up to date. I know you're probably saying, "Yeah, good luck with that." It's just a dream, but I long for that day to come. I may be nearly 100 years old when it happens, but I hope not.

I don't believe my problem is really the unrealistic dream. It's this life cycle I've put myself into that is making it impossible. It usually starts with over committing myself into severe anxiety and exhaustion then once my commitments are fulfilled one by one, I tend to get depressed. I get so used to the crazy fast pace motion of life that when it slows down, it gets me down. After a while of wallowing in self pity, I start looking for ways to lift myself up and then just end up with too much to do again and the cycle starts all over. When I'm oppressed I don't have time to do the things I enjoy doing and when I'm depressed I don't want to do the things I enjoy doing. It seems like no matter what I do I'm either up or down; there's no middle ground. Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist, I don't know. I may be wrong, but I think we all get stuck in this cycle sometimes. We're not comfortable unless we're miserable which makes no sense at all.

We need to be careful not to overextend ourselves, but at the same time be mindful of the needs of others and willing to make sacrifices to help. Don't say yes to every opportunity that comes along, but don't say no to them all either. When you are feeling oppressed, ask for help, but when you are depressed, do something for someone else. I'm no expert, but I think this is the best way to find some emotional middle ground.

South Carnleyrica Is Gaining Ground

2008-10-05T21:22:00.002-05:00

The Civil War in Carnleyrica has not let up over the past several weeks. Due to constant explosions in the northern and southern regions, the media has not been able to report on the current activity until now. The troops in the south have gained much ground over the North, but seem to have finllay retreated temporarily to their bunkers. This has given General Kacie Carnley the opportunity to speak with reporters on the current situations. According to the General, the explosions over the course of the past several weeks have been set off by the infamous Colonel Lachlan Stone. Troops from both sides ironically discribe him as a "Lose Cannon" as he has set off the explosions in both regions. His chaotic war tactics are posing a problem for both the North and South due to the lack of time between these catestrophic explosions. The General said, "His unconventional explosives have ranged from giant tubs of sugar to a large can of Lt. P.J.'s rations. Captain Sidney Pearl has not taken any steps in reigning in her "lose cannon" of a troop despite the destruction he has caused in their own territory. Her incompotence is really making officials from both sides wonder how she's managed to lead in this war. If it were not for the up and coming Lt. PJ, they might not be so far ahead. Her forces have gained strength daily and she herself has caused some disturbance in the North by spilling a full glass of water that covered the Northern region. She's constantly looking for new ways to create more chaos in the North to keep the South ahead in this war. General Kacie Carnleyrica says, "We will not surreneder!! No matter how much destruction has taken place, we will never surrender to the South and allow them to take over our land. It is my hope that we can one day put aside our differences and embrace our similarities. There should be no North Carnleyrica or South Carnleryrica. We are Carnleyricans and we should come together and try to live like civilized members of this great country."

Civil War: Carnleyrica

2008-09-09T16:39:00.013-05:00

General Kacie Carnley of North Carnleyrica, declared a Civil War today. Captain Sidney Pearl of Sidneyland and Colonel Lachlan Stone of Lachlanville, both in South Carnleyrica, are not letting up. They joined forces today and set off an explosion of, what appears to be, an entire can of Altoids. The explosion occurred at exactly 1630 hours in the central region of Sidneyland. Officials are trying to determine why the explosion occurred on their own land and are investigating the possibility of a power struggle among these southern troops. No casualties have been reported, however two young ladies, ironically both named Barbie, appear to have some minor skin discolorations from the excessive white powder that covered this southern region.

There have been reports of a militia being formed for the South today, as well. The militia is being led by the very young and ardent patriot, Paisley Jewel or "Lieutenant P.J." She has not posed a huge problem for the North yet, due to her lack of knowledge and experience in war, but the strength of her forces are increasing daily, and she could end up gaining more ground over the North in a very short period of time.

Stay tuned for the latest news on the the Civil War of the Ununited States of Carnleyrica. Current activity will be reported often.

(Who said a Mom doesn't have the experience to run a country?)

I laugh to keep from crying (or yelling)

2008-09-08T15:19:00.008-05:00

Around 9:00 this morning, as I was getting ready for the first MOPS meeting of the year, I heard an interesting noise coming from the livingroom where Sidney and Lachlan were supposed to be quietly watching PBS. It sounded like something was being torn, so I called out to Sidney to inquire and she said, "Come look what Lachlan did." I always cringe when I hear those words......my mind is reeling....... are pictures being torn, important papers from my desk, pages out of books!!! Much to my surprise as I entered the livingroom I did not find any important papers destroyed, but I did find my ENTIRE livingroom floor covered with dry oatmeal. Yes, my clever little son got the HUGE tub of Quaker Oats out of the pantry and used them to create a giant snowstorm. It was all over the furniture and floor and took me about 15-20 mintues to completely clean it all up. I think there is still some I missed, but it was getting late so I had to just stop. So, anyway, here's the funny part. I actually didn't get as mad as I thought I would or should. I told Sidney she had to go to the corner for not telling Mommy what Lachlan was doing. Then, before I proceeded to clean up the mess, I realized I might want a picture of this incident. So, I go back to the kitchen and got the Quaker box, sat it down beside my kids among the mess and took some pictures. Then I sent them both to the corner while I cleaned the mess. What can I say? It's the scrapbooker in me. So, here it is. I'm sharing it with you all, just don't judge the rest of the mess in the house.

Just an update.......

2008-08-18T00:23:00.008-05:00

Yikes!!! It's been forever since I've blogged so I thought I would update. Here's some current pics of the kids that I've promised no telling how many people that I would post. Life's been busy and isn't stopping. Justin and I are going on year #7 as of July 7th!!! He took a two week vacation in July and for one week we went to Denton and vistied friends shopped at Grapevine Mills and Bass Pro Shop............ It was fun, but we had all the kids so it was still hectic.

The first weekend of this month I went to the Creative Memories National Convention in Minnesota and I practically came back home to a full calendar of events. I'm very excited about where my business is going right now, I just can't wait for Lachlan and Sidney to start Mother's Day Out again and get back to a normal routine. This will be Lachlan's first year to attend Mother's Day Out at Carpenter's Way. I dropped him in just occasionally last year and he did very well, so I'm very comfortable with sending him full time this year. Little Paisley will stay home with me, though. It will be nice to have some time with just her during those two days each week. The other two tend to take up all the attention, but I think their bored and ready to get out of the house some, anyway.

I will be temporarily teaching the youth sunday school class this fall. I'm looking forward to it, but a little nervous because I've never really taught a "sunday school" class, just small groups etc....... We are still looking for a part-time youth minister so if anyone knows of someone interested in the area, let me know!!!! I am also on the (Carpenter's Way) MOPS Steering team this year, too. I will be making the newsletter each month.

Whew........It's going to be a busy (school) year. Sidney's last year before Kindergarten, Lachlan will be finishing potty training, Paisley will start crawling, walking,and eating more foods, I will be working to promote from CM Senior Consultant to CM Unit Leader, as well as towards an incentive trip to Ireland in 2009!?! all along with the afore said responsibilities. Some how I'm going to have to make room for Justin, cleaning house, washing clothes, and cooking. With God all things are possible...........but He never said they are all probable, right??? I'll have to do the best I can and do the rest the next day. As crazy as it may sound, I'm looking forward to the rat race. I hate to have things hanging over my head, but it's been that way for so long that I'm constantly looking up and confused if I don't. In other words, I tend to thrive under pressure. I think it's good for me. Only time will tell. Keep me in your prayers.

Most Embarrassing Moment

2008-06-02T22:57:00.007-05:00

I really can't believe I'm blogging this, but every time I remember this I laugh and think, " I should blog this."

So........when I was a senior in High School I was taking some college classes at night and I started going with my friend Beth, who had already graduated, to a college Bible study group called "Gen X." Well, they planned a retreat to Pineywoods Baptist Encampment and I signed up to go with Beth. I didn't really know very many other people and a lot of them seemed a lot older than me. Anyway, one night we had a worship and prayer time that lasted all night long except I was too sleepy to stay in the conference room all night so I went on out as some other students had done. Beth, however, stayed in the worship room. Not wanting to go right to my room I stood around trying to figure out something I could do. I was hungry and thirsty and thought I would go to to the cafeteria to get something. On my way there, a group of guys in our group appeared to be coming back from cafeteria. They asked me if that was where I was going and I said yes. They had obviously just come from there with cups in hand. They proceeded to tell me that it was closed. I was a little frustrated and embarrassed now that I had nothing to do but go back to my dorm room. As I headed back to the room, one of the guys called out, "Hey, you can have some of my hot chocolate if you want." I politely refused and he again insisted and I refused again and he insisted again. Not wanting to put myself in an awkward position of drinking after a guy I hardly knew, I had to quickly think of a reason to not take him up on his offer. And yes, I regret to say the best I could come up with was, "No thanks, I might burn my tongue." Luckily I was at the door of my dorm room going in as I said it so, I didn't have to hear their response to my ridiculous reply. In my defense, I love hot chocolate and drink it often, but I always burn my tongue and have this annoying sore for days afterwards................... I know, I know......it was still a stupid thing to say.

Sidney's first attempt at gymnastics

2008-06-02T18:32:00.003-05:00

Well, I took my daughter to gymnastics today for the first time. She did pretty well for the most part. I wish I had thought to take pictures, but it was kind of last minute. I meant to sign her up last week and forgot. I called at 2:45 and they said they had a spot open for 3:00 if we wanted to come right then. So, we went. She loved it, but was very nervous on the balance beam. She kept her knees bent and inched her feet along not putting one step in front of the other. She slipped off the rings and didn't want to try that again. Maybe Wednesday will go better when it's not so last minute. I'll try to remember to take pictures to post next time.

.....The BEST wife in the world, is who you married!!!

2008-04-27T23:22:00.000-05:00

This is a rebuttal to Justin's post "Who Did I Marry?"

First of all in my defense, I was what 2 years old when this movie first released and then 8 when the last one did. The last I heard they don't let 8 year olds rent movies and back then we had to rent the VCR, too. So, as you can imagine renting movies at our house did not happen very often. Secondly, by the time I got into highschool I, unlike other nerds I know, was not stuck in the past renting old movies. I liked to stay more current and up to date. If it wasn't hilarious or a chick flick, then I probably didn't care to watch it.

And as for the other movies my husband so sedistically brought up that I don't care for, I HAVE seen The Goonies SEVERAL times and don't really get the hype. I guess I didn't realize I married a 12 year old. I can't stand that dang wiggly ear. I had seen some Star Wars movies before, but again was too young to understand and as I recall was scared of the characters.

And another thing. I HATE it when people are made fun of for something they don't know or haven't done. It would be like me being mad at someone for being TALL or RED-HEADED. Imagine that!! Besides I didn't realize there was a pre-requisite to being my husband's wife, nor did I ever get the check list of movies you must see by a certain age. Just for this I'm considering refusing to watch the Indiana Jones movies even if he does rent them. What do y'all think? Is it really worth suckin' up my pride to watch it for him?

Either way, at least come August 14th, when my husband turns 30 I can rub it in that I will still be in my twenties for 2.5 more years. I may be an ignorant and misinformed 27 year old, but I will always be younger, more hip, and way cooler than him.

My Girls

2008-04-04T15:39:00.000-05:00

I thought I would post some new pictures of my girls. We went to get Sidney's 4 year old pictures taken at sears as well as Paisley's 3 month pics. (Lachlan will have to wait til he turns 2, once they turn 1 I only take them around their birthday.) Also, I have three new Sidney funnies:

1) She went to get me a towel off the bed the other morning and when she brought it to me she said, "What does black and purple make?" I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "I guess it makes brown." I said, "Why do you say that." She said, "because when I went to get the towel (which was purple) since the light was off it looked brown."

2) Sidney was screaming in her room in a high pitched voice and it was making Lachlan (who was supposed to be asleep) scream. I called for her to come here so I could tell her to stop. She said, " Well, I'm playing with my Barbie car and I'm making the Weeooo Weeoo sound so I'm going to keep doing it."

3) We were at the mall the other day and it's very common for us to get a soft pretzel while we're there. I asked her if she would rather just go get some lunch like at Chick-fil-a and she said, "No I want a pretzel, I only like brown food."

Things that bother me or that I simply don't like

2008-03-18T01:32:00.000-05:00

-most all church signs (message boards)
-local commercials (they are always corny, low budget and usually contain an inside joke that only the workers of the company would understand)
-most fruity candy, I prefer chocolate
-unsweet cornbread
-unsweet tea
-rootbear, yuck (Justin and Sidney love it and I think it smells like nasty medicine)
-Larry the cable guy and his famous phrase "Get -r done"
-A street in North Texas named "Coit" ( It makes my teeth cringe to say it)
-The name of a business in Denton called "Shax's" (for some reason that always bothered me.
-when people ask me a question with no intention of listening to the answer and start talking before I'm done answering (I'm trying to be aware of doing this myself since it bothers me so much)
-domino's pizza
-square meat, you know what I'm talking about
-most country music
-Raisin cookies, there supposed to be chocolate chips...so disappointing
-Sugar cookies that look like peanut butter cookies...also disappointing
-Useless email forwards especially the ones that evoke guilt for deleting... I delete in freedom
-"Irregardless", it's "regardless", but so many people say "irregardless "that it's actually in the dictionary as "nonstandard or humorous usage"
-when people can't say their l's and say things like code or showders
-when people say "warsh" instead of "wash"

I'm sure there's more, but I'm getting tired.

one last thought........this isn't something that really bothered me but I thought of it while making this list and thought it was funny enough to blog. There was a business in Denton called J. Hester Poperties and a good friend of mine who lived there when we did almost always called it J. Hester "Pryne" Properties. (for some of you who may not know, Hester Pryne is the main character in the novel The Scarlet Letter.)

I love my child's mind

2008-03-17T22:06:00.000-05:00

Sidney's mind never ceases to amaze me. Here's just a few things she has said recently:

1) I need to preface this one first. Sidney hates flies and simply cannot function properly if they are anywhere near her. They must be killed before life can go on..................The other day I told her to go in her room and play. She quickly returned to say, "I feel like there are flies in my room even though there aren't any." I proceed to ask, " Why do you feel like they're in there if they aren't." She says convincingly, "....because it's in my brain!!"

2) I was clipping her fingernails the other day and was having trouble with one of them. She says frustrated, "I think that one isn't cooperating."

3)She now calls all hearts Valentines

4) We somehow acquired a transformer from Sugar's house, one of Justin's old ones and Sidney calls it a Franstormer. I don't correct her b/c she's gotten to where she says most everything correctly and I'm hanging on to all the mispronounced words that I can.

5)Grams took her to Brookshire Brothers the other day and Sidney said they were going to "Brookshire Lachlan," (replacing brother with lachlan.)

6)She HATES for Justin to go to work in the morning. She always gets up about the same time he does and she comes in our room. When she was littler, she would say, "Don't go awork," then she started saying, "Don't put your eagle shirt on" (mailman uniform for those of you who may not know what my husband does for a living), then she got to where she would come in and look at Justin with a sad face, point in the direction of the post office (which is funny that she knows that) and shakes her head no. Now it's come down to coming in with her head hanging low and when Justin asks her what is wrong she just points to the post office and we know. It's like she can't even bring herself to shake her head b/c she's so sad. It's very sweet and sad at the same time.

I know there's more, but I can't think of any at the moment. More later..............

Random Things I Like

2008-02-12T00:53:00.000-06:00

My family
Going out to eat
getting a new hairstyle
The Office
Seinfeld
almonds
Sonic Coke
the smell of rubber and nail polish remover (does this make me a closet druggy?)
Dido
Sbux Latte's
flaky rolls and biscuits
sweet tea
road trips
being organized (rarely am)
being spontanious (more like impulsive)
accomplishing any idea or goal (very hard to let an idea go once it gets so far in process, OCD?)
singing in my car alone
stack of new paper or notepads
thunderstorms at night
water parks
snow
wall clocks (I justed counted four in my house)
Todd's new CD

that's all for now, maybe more later...............

I think I'm married to Dwight Schrute

2008-02-06T10:21:00.000-06:00

For those of you who watch " The Office"-- The other night Justin and I were staying up late and the movie Arachnophobia came on on TBS. During a discussion about spiders and other critters, for some reason I asked him if he knew what animals are asexual. Without even thinking, he very schrutely stated, "Flatworm." I died laughing and as if that was not enough "schrutness" he asked, "do you mean asexual or hermaphroditic?" I died laughing again. I may as well have been standing right in front of Dwight at Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton. I just certainly hope I'm nothing like Angela.

Paisley Jewel

2008-02-06T10:06:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm just now getting around to posting some pics of the baby. By now most of y'all have probably already seen her, so I put some more recent pics on here along with one when she was born. She's our beautiful little girl!!

39 weeks and counting

2008-01-02T01:27:00.000-06:00

Well, Christmas is over and my tree is the last part of decorations that has to be taken down. It's been a long process between that and opening new toys, putting away new gifts, washing clothes (including baby clothes), and changing out picture frames. My car is still full with a load of gifts from Christmas with my parents. I haven't even attempted to bring it all into the house yet. I keep thinking I'll go into labor and then all the work I have to do will disappear for a few days. However, the idea is to have it all done before Paisley comes. Hopefully she'll be here soon. I'm so ready, well, my house isn't, but I am. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Musical Christmas Lights!!

2007-12-24T22:45:00.000-06:00

Is Christmas over yet?

2007-12-20T02:52:00.000-06:00

It's sad how responsibilities and adulthood sucks the life out of Christmas . I remember thinking Christmas would never get here when I was a kid and being so excited when if finally came. As a grown up, as much as I still enjoy the season, I'm ready for it to be over this year. Isn't that so sad??? I'm sure it's my fault for not planning better and starting my shopping sooner, but regardless, that's how it is for me. I'm sure the fact that I'm 8 and 1/2 mos. pregnant has something to do with my gloomy disposition. Briskly walking through the mall at my current pre-natal stage is not so much fun. Anyway, that's my feelings at the moment. I need to go to bed now, it's 3:00am.

2007-12-12T15:31:00.000-06:00

Just thought I would put a picture of Lachlan up. Newt Newt was wanting to see current pics of kids. He's walking all over the place now. He's my sweet little red-headed boy!!

Funny Girl

2007-12-12T14:32:00.000-06:00

My daughter Sidney cracks me up everyday. She has said so many hilarious things the last few days I had to blog it.

Yesterday she said, " Um, watch me say this, Joseph's Wife Christmas." With a big grin on her face she paused for second and right when I figured out what she was saying she said, "I'm saying Merry Christmas!" Then she said, " but, it's a different kind of merry." I found out later she had already gone through this scenario with her daddy. She loves replacing words with others that mean the same. Instead of saying Grams (my mom) she says, "Mommy's mom" or Newt Newt (Rachel) with "Uncle Jason's Wife" or even "Uncle Jason's Woman."

When we were out shopping today I told her we would go by Rudolph at the mall b/c she loves to see it. When I said we were going to go by it she said, "But, we can't take it home."

We were sitting in the drive through at Ray's for lunch and she was saying the same phrase over and over in a very loud annoying voice and I told her to stop and she said, "I keep saying it b/c it's funny." I told her it's also annoying. She asked with a confused tone, "It's tearing something up?" She just learned the word destroy the other day and got the two confused. I said, "It's not destroying, but annoying." Justin met us there for lunch and he gave her a kiss on the cheek before he left and she said, "why are kisses juicy," then she said "he has sweat on his kisses."

That's all I've got for now, but she's full of them. I can't wait to see what she's going to say next.

My Favorite Color is Pink, but hers is Purple.........

2007-12-01T11:02:00.000-06:00

Someone once said that babies will finally get to a point where they realize they are not their mommy and they are their own person. Well, I think that parents do the same thing. We finally realize that our children are not just a small version of ourselves, but rather a completely unique individual that happens to have our genes. I was playing with my daughter the other day and she loves to point out that my favorite color is pink and hers is purple. She doesn't ever change it to be like me, she's happy being herself and having her own opinion and I'm happy with that, too. I wouldn't want her to be a carbon copy of myself. I love to be surprised at the things that she says and does. When I say "stupid" by accident she's gotten to where she now just growls and says, "Jesus!" instead of the whole phrase which is, "Jesus doesn't want us to say that." It cracks me up every time. She's told us she wants a sailboat for Christmas this year and much to my surprise walked right up to Santa yesterday at the mall and let him know, too. For a while I was thinking a little toy sailboat that she might play with in the bathtub or even a little bigger than that. I finally asked her where we would keep the sailboat to see what scale of sailboat I was dealing with. I said, "Would we keep it in your room or in a storage building?" She looked at me funny and said, "I don't want it in my room, we need a storage building." Then I realized that she must take after her uncle Jason, always wanting the impossible as if it were possible. ( You never have gotten that four wheeler yet, right? ) I'm not even sure where she's seen one, but she's stuck on it. Anyway, it's fun to see her little personality develop and hear her voice all of the little thoughts that pass through her mind. She's my precious "purple" girl.

Midnight Ramblings of a Rookie Blogger

2007-11-19T00:34:00.000-06:00

Ok, Justin just created a blog so I decided it was finally time for me to make one, too. Jason has been trying to get me to do this for quite sometime now, and well, frankly, I've run out of excuses. I've played the I'm-too-busy-being-a-mommy-and-working-card all too many times. So, here is my official first post on my very own blog. Jason, I hope you are happy, now? And yes, I have visited your blog recently (another thing I get in trouble for not doing.) Anyway, I've thought of several things to write about on my first post and nothing profound has come to me so, this will probably be something very random. I mean who really cares what I think about stuff, anyway. Humor me for a minute while I reveal the elephant.blogspot.com (i.e. elephant in the room) It is my opinion that in most cases, not all, that the blog is more about people's responses to what you post and not the actual post itself. So, no matter what I post, you will more than likely participate in one of these responses. A) You will laugh out loud and say, "that is very funny," B) You will raise your eyebrows and say "that is so true," C) You will wrinkle your forhead and say, "That's dumb", D) You will make a disgusted face and say "Why is she posting this?" or E) You will shake your head and say "I completely disagree." And for you nonconformists, yes you can choose F) None of the above, and proceed to give me a whole new perspective, response, or personal belief that you feel the need to express. We of course want A, will settle for B, are very interested in the F's, but hope to never get D or E and especially not C. So, just out of curiosity, what was your first response?